When my emotions got Misdirected

The biggest current blockbuster is probably Bajrangi Bhaijaan. I had heard so much about this movie that I wanted to watch it at any cost. Most people confessed to have walked out teary eyed, girls and boys, men & women alike. So when I did not cry, I wondered if I was emotionally dead. I did like the movie though. The movie is about a little 6 year old girl who is yet to start to speak (delayed speech). She gets left behind in a different country just as her train chugs across the border, separating her from her mother. Unable to speak, she ends up following a man who is forced to care of her much against his religious beliefs. Her charm & innocent ways transforms him slowly as he accepts her for who she is & reaches her back home safely to her parents. The movie is about this journey & is high on emotion, drama, action, comedy & everything else that one could ask for. It very subtly teaches us to be tolerant towards all religions without being too preachy. But still there were two things that distracted me from what I had gone to watch & left me more emotional than the movie itself.

One

I happen to be a movie buff & believe that this is not something that you do alone. I love watching & then discussing about the movie. Knowing exactly how much this means to me, the stranger I married, NEVER took me for a movie for about 10 years of our marriage. He was never short of excuses & blamed me for expecting him to accompany me. He expected me to go & watch it alone knowing how much I feel against it. Sometimes I would go with friends, but soon I gave up the effort. Then for the past 2-3 years he started to take me out, but then made sure not to utter a single word throughout, right from when we would leave the house till when we got back or the next morning. Making it seem to be a punishment or favour rather than a form of entertainment. The silence was so killing during these many weekends that we went out together, that I finally felt it was better to be alone than with a stranger I know sit beside me.

This friendship day i decided to spend it alone with myself. Not because i dont have friends, but i chose to have it this way. Yesterday, for the first time, I went alone to watch a movie. It was my little step towards a life that I now know I have to lead alone. It was really liberating. I was as expressive as I wished to be, without being judged. Slowly, he has won another small battle. With his passive aggressive ways, he has managed to push me to do what he really wanted all along. Another victory for him & learning for me. This left me highly emotional, as I was reminded of what my future might be like from now on.

Two

There was an elderly couple seated beside me. They were as old as my parents & very well dressed. During the interval, I went & bought myself some popcorn. As I sat munching on & waiting for the movie to resume, I heard the lady tell her husband that even she wished to have some. So the elderly gentleman went to buy a tub, but returned in couple of minutes empty handed. He then told her softly, that the cost of a small tub was Rs 170/- There was an awkward silence followed by what seemed like acceptance and then more silence. The movie had started by then, but my focus was on the couple. Should I offer them mine? Should I just go and buy them one tub? Would it appear rude? Would it hurt them more? They were well dressed & appeared affluent. Were they dressed in their best? Were they living off their children’s income & on a tight budget? Or did they have their own pension, but not enough to spend too much? Maybe the husband was just miserly & the lady had to put up with his ways. I could never tell & felt intrusive to do something myself. It felt sad that even at this age they had to sacrifice their little pleasures of life. Now, that left me more emotional than the movie.

But the movie is worth watching atleast once.

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